Relating

Lately I have been finding my thoughts scattered across the web. Courageous bloggers sharing deep insights that I myself have been having. 

I have been reading posts and feeling like YES!! This is exactly how I feel! I guess it stems from the fact that we are all connected on a deeper level. And for me reading these posts and feeling so connected to the message (not to mention the blogger)  is so amazing  and comforting. I think sometimes we feel that we are the ONLY ones going through whatever it is and in reality that couldn't be further from the truth.

Like this post from Wini at artlovejoy titled A new journey. This was so brave. Here is a small excerpt:

"But I wasn't sure if I was good enough, and felt that there were so many others out there who are much better, and maybe no one would be interested in my work and I'd be a failure. But now my dream is starting to solidify, and although the fears are still there, I feel more confident and motivated to move forward with it." -Yes, Wini I am right there with you! 

And this post  from Michele Fauss title Afraid to paint. Wow!! I really could relate to the whole thing!!

Here is a bit:

"I'm afraid to finish the paintings.  

Does that make sense?  I'm actually scared of my own art.  You see each background I do, I have a plan for.  I know exactly what I want on it for the most part, but I'm afraid to start that part of the process because I'm afraid I'll mess it up.  I seem to moving into a new direction, and I am wanting and trying to draw and paint more in my work.

....I'm feeling a lot of the things we've talked about in class too.  Mainly, who do I think I am to think others will be interested in my art? and Will I be able to make enough money to make art my career?"

 And this post from Chrissy at cul*ti*vate titled on being honest with myself. A great post about hiding her art from the world. From her post:

"my problem is, i set out to sail on this vast sea of amazingly talented
women in the world, and all of a sudden i feel as though i am a little dingy boat and everyone around me are larger than life, multi million dollar cruise liners.
i feel insignificant.  i don.t say this to get pity. so don.t give it to me.
{you guys are nice that way!}  it just is what it is."

So yes, I have been feeling:

excited: for possibility

afraid to finish: what if I mess up?, I have been doing that alot lately. Starting, liking it then doing something and cringing. I hate to waste paper, paint, canvas and time. I have told myself that maybe I am this way because in my past career as a textile/surface designer I designed on a computer and when you did make a mistake it was very easy to undo. And of course with non digital materials it isn't so. Will I ever make something I love? This has been a HUGE one for me!! I am challenging myself to finish this collage. I like it so far. I just hope I don't mess it up. :)

a little unsure: will I measure up?

 I think most would agree these are things we just feel and go through. Sort of feel the fear and do it anyway.

Thank you to those courageous artists. You have helped a ton. 

xo,

dana

p.s. Blogger isn't cooperating today. It is a bit wonky here. Not saving any changes. Hmmm..